Sniffling and Anxious Mommy

We're having a bit of a momentous day here with both girls. Well... I say "we"... but really what I mean is I'M having a momentous day. Nick is actually in Italy for work all week. I'm wishing this day wasn't an alone day.

1st big milestone...Today is the first day that Ana didn't nurse at all. Our first all bottle/formula/food day.


Since January I've been having trouble nursing. Clogged ducts (at least 6x). Mastitis (1x). Sore nipples (2). Pain and soreness (constant). Annoyed baby (1). Ana and I have been troupers, though. With how painful it got at times... I would have liked to have just thrown in the towel. Unfortunately... the best cure for clogged ducts is to nurse, and nurse, and nurse... and then nurse some more. But, that didn't seem to help. Ana stayed frustrated and I dreaded nursing sessions.

Then one day I mentioned the issues on Facebook and a long lost friend chimed in that she'd had the same issues and that she recommended Lecithin. I called our local lactation shop... and sure enough they carried it. That stuff is a miracle in a gel capsule. I haven't had a single clog since taking the first pill.

I'm thrilled to have found a "cure" for my problem... but Ana and I were on our way to weaning. The Lecithin has made the whole process much less painful. In the last few weeks we've been nursing first thing in the morning and just before bedtime. If she woke up in the middle of the night she'd also nurse. During the day she would get 2 bottles and 3 meals. Last week I switched the bedtime nursing to a bottle and was amazingly able to get Ana to give up eating overnight (I think the 8 oz bottle filled her more than I have in months). I kept doing the morning breastfeeding (mostly out of laziness and not wanting to go downstairs for a bottle). Finally last night I thought to bring a cold bottle upstairs with me when I went to bed. When Ana woke she took a bottle. So... 4 bottles and 3 meals today.

No nursing.

We're done.

Ana doesn't seem to mind at all. She sucks down those bottles like they're filled with a milkshake. She finishes them and lets out a contented little satisfied sigh. My baby is a happy chunka-munk.

And Mommy? Well... part of me is thrilled to get my body back (and start wearing bras that don't have flaps). But... part of me is a sad sappy mess with big old tear filled eyes. My baby is done nursing. Along with this huge change Ana's been reaching other big milestones (that I REALLY need to start posting!) My baby is growing up.

Sniffle sniffle. Where are the tissues???

2nd big milestone... Zoe is wearing underwear to bed.

Zoe's been potty trained during the day for over a year now. Those nighttime pull-ups have just not been given up.... until today.

Every night Zoe gets on her pajamas and asks for her pull-up. We don't fight it. Like everything else we've been going with the "when she's ready she'll be ready" philosophy. It has worked out really well for us. As a person with a degree in Child Development that has always made the most sense to me. And it worked for us. So... Zoe wanted pull-ups to sleep... she wore pull-ups.

The other factor of allowing the pull-ups to stay was that we really haven't wanted to have to deal with nighttime potty accidents. More to the point... as the stay-at-home-mom that job would fall to me... and I was not ready to deal. I was especially not going to push for it while I was still waking up once or twice a night with Ana. The last thing I wanted to risk was getting up with a wet Zoe, too. I would have totally lost my mind to exhaustion.

But... today was the day. Today Zoe said "I don't want my pull-up. I want my underpants." I asked if she was sure. I asked if she understood she'd have to get up from her bed to go potty. I asked if she understood it would be dark and just the nightlight would be on. She stuck with it. She wanted those underpants to stay. So... they stayed.

As we were going through our bedtime routine I kept reminding her what she would need to do. As she sat on the potty I talked to her about it. As she brushed her teeth I talked to her about it. I reminded her where the nightlight in the bathroom was. I told her I would leave her seat on the potty and her step right in place.

We went in her room and I showed her the new pad we would put over her sheets "just in case" (these are fabulous by the way). She helped me tuck the pad snug around her mattress. Zoe is the most enthusiastic bed maker ever, by the way.

We had our story time and then I asked one more time "Are you sure you don't want your pull-up?" And her response was "Nope!" I asked if she wanted to go to the potty one more time... and of course she did (anything to get out of starting lights out!). And... she peed a second time.

We continued with our routine. Snuggle in... lights out... cd on... Mommy (or usually Daddy when he's home) and Zoe lay down. 3 songs later (Rock-a-bye Piglet) we give kisses and hugs and "I love you"s and "sweet dreams". I took one last time to say... "Remember... if you need to go potty get up to go. And if you need me call me." She gave an "OK Mommy!" and I haven't heard from her since.

My plan is to get her to the potty when I go to bed. That's what my brother did with Avery... and my sister-in-law did with Alex. Any other suggestions? If she has an accident... do I give her more underwear? Do I put a pull-up on? I guess I just ask what she wants?

I really hope it goes well for her (and for me). I hope if she has to get up she has no problems. I hope if she has an accident she doesn't get TOO upset. I hope this goes as smoothly as the rest of her potty training went.

Zoe went to bed very sure of herself. She's a big girl... and she knows it. Her independence just expands every day.

And Mommy? Again... part of me is thrilled. No more pull-ups. Only one kid to buy diapers for. Yippee! The other part of me is anxiety ridden. I have the monitor right next to me at the computer (which I never do since I can hear Ana cry without it). I'm nervous about her getting out of bed at night. I'm worried about her having a potty accident and getting upset. I'm nervous that if Zoe gets REALLY upset she'll wake up Ana. Mommy is one big old bundle of nerves.

And... Zoe is not a baby anymore. She's a big girl. This is really the final BABY thing about Zoe. She's an amazing girl. Growing bigger every day. There are so many things she does on her own and does well.

And Mommy... again... she's a sappy mess.

Sniffle sniffle.

An anxious nervous sappy sniffling mess.

Sniffle sniffle.

More tissues please.