And just like that...

Aunt Prudy passed away 5 months ago.  It's hard to believe she's been gone since July.  On one hand it feels like it's been forever... but then on the other hand we're still just dealing.

Today was Aunt Prudy's birthday.  She would have been 86.  We would have made cupcakes for her.  The girls probably would have insisted that they be pink.  We would have taken her out for dinner.

Instead, we just talked about Aunt Prudy a little bit.  We talked about taking flowers to the cemetery for her... but it was such a busy day... so we're going to go tomorrow.  We remembered though, and we thought of her.

Tonight I did bedtime with the girls.  It was the usual bedtime.  Potty.  Teeth brushing.  3 of us cuddled on the bed to read 2 books.  Prayers (ending with blessing all of our family included "and God Bless Aunt Prudy and make her memory to be eternal.")  Ana off to bed in her room.  Zoe back to bed in her room with a little extra cuddle time (Zoe wants it... Ana doesn't).  While laying in the dark there are always little end of the day conversations.    Usually happy and fluffy rememberings of the day or plans for the next day.  Today was also rememberings but it was deeper.  More.

Zoe - "Remember when you told me that Aunt Prudy died?  And you cried a lot?"
Me - "Yes, I was very sad.  I missed her very much.  I still do."
Zoe - "I miss her too.  I wish she didn't die."
Me - "I know."
Zoe - "You know, a piece of me broke.  (pause) A piece of my heart broke and it's with Aunt Prudy."

And just like that... my heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces.

I could hear tears in the dark.  My cheeks were wet while I tried not to sniffle and sob.  The conversation continued with questions about my heart... and if I have a piece with Aunt Prudy, too.  Did I also have a piece of my heart broken for Uncle Jig (Aunt Prudy's husband who died long before Zoe was born).  Zoe also told me that Aunt Prudy must have lots of cuts in her heart... since she had to leave us all here.  We talked and we talked.  Much longer than I usually allow at bedtime.  I comforted her, like moms do.  We kept remembering a little more.  We talked about how we missed Aunt Prudy at Christmas at our house.  We talked about how Aunt Prudy must have watched us open our presents.  We talked about what Christmas must be like in Heaven.  We slowly switched topics and ended the "goodnight" on a lighter happier note... one involving New Year's Eve parties and staying up really late playing with cousins. 

A piece of me broke.  A piece of my heart broke and it's upstairs with Zoe.

Grace in Small Things - 140

1. Getting pictures of my niece randomly sent to me via text message.

2. Being able to send a short video of the girls being silly to their uncle... via text message.

3.  The ridiculously quick witted humor that comes from my girls (I swear they get that from Uncle Jim... especially Ana.)

4.  The sight of Zoe trying to learn how to play the ukelele.

5.  The way Ana loads her toddler bed up with more or different toys and stuffed animals every day.  I don't know how she even fits herself in anymore.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all... and to all a goodnight!

Our Christmas Eve...

We went out for an early dinner.

We went to the Christmas Eve service at church.

We went to Grandma and Grandpa's house to exchange gifts with them, Uncle Gene & Aunt Andrea, and cousins Larisa, Alex & Nina.

We had birthday cake for Alex's birthday (he's 8 today!).

We came home and the girls went right upstairs to make sure they would be sleeping so Santa could stop at our house.

I don't know about you... but this Mommy is ready for a long winter's nap.

Santa came!!!

(I was a sneaky Mommy and came downstairs to snap a photo after Santa was back up the chimney.)

Grace in Small Things - 139

1.   An elementary school holiday sign along.

2.  Decorating gingerbread cookies.

3.  Wrapping presents.

4.  Using a gift card to enjoy a dinner out (shhh.... I know it's not Christmas yet... but since it arrived early, we used it!  Thanks for dinner Nanny!)

5.  Chicken Invaders: Ultimate Omelette Christmas Edition.  It is SO ridiculous... but I can't stop playing... and there's Christmas music.

Merry Christmas Card!

I'm assuming everyone I mailed a card to has received their card. 

If you didn't get a card in the mail from me... but you would still like to get some holiday mail (and who doesn't like real mail???) please e-mail me your address.  (colleen dot bohensky @ gmail dot com) I would love to drop a few more cards in the mailbox!!!

And if you're planning on sharing your card online (or if you already have it posted) share your link in the Fourth Annual Great Bloggy Holiday Card Exchange!  I joined in last year... and I thought I would join in this year as well. 

*Also, a quick thank you to Stacy Mae Photography for taking photos of the girls this summer.  Stacy's photos saved me a ton of stress when the photos I took were not quite holiday card worthy. . 

Circus World Ferris Wheel - February 1986

Don't you just love Ferris wheels?  They're really quite amazing structures.

Every February we would go to Sarasota Florida for our mid-winter school break.  Every single time we went we would take a day trip to one of the Florida attractions on at least one day.

In 1986 we went to Circus World.

I don't remember ANYTHING about Circus World.  I Googled it and it doesn't exist anymore.  But... Jim and I can say we were there.  (Thrilling, right Jim?)

(From what I can find it opened in 1974 and closed in 1986.  It reopened with new owners in 1987 as Boardwalk and Baseball.  Then that closed in 1990.  Now I think it's condos and hotels.)

Grace in Small Things - 138

1.  Small children wearing antlers and singing Jingle Bells.

2.  The "Holiday Traditions" station on XM radio.  Nothing but old classics.

3.  The Pillsbury sugar cookies with the pictures in them (we made snowmen and reindeer) that simply require plopping the pre-cut dough on the cookie sheet and then sticking the cookie sheet in the oven for 10ish minutes.  (Sometime ease wins out over scratch.)

4.  Our new "tree topper".  Zoe made a Santa in a chimney at school today.  It fits right over the top of our tree... and the tree lights make the chimney glow.  It's a little ridiculous how happy it makes me that we decided that the top of the tree was the best place for it.

5.  Nick is coming home from Brazil tomorrow morning.

Let it Snow Globe

Zoe made this in art yesterday. I just love snow globes... this one included.

We've all been singing "Let It Snow".  I think I may have lost my mind... because as much as I DON'T like snow... I think I'm ready for a little snow.

(But I say that in a itty bitty teeny tiny voice... because I KNOW that about 10 minutes after I look at the snow out my window the girls are going to make me go outside with them and then I'm going to be ready for it to melt.)

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

Santa's Little Cottage in Madison, NJ

This Sunday we paid Santa a little visit at his cottage in Madison.

I told the girls I wasn't sure if he would be visiting Madison on a Sunday afternoon (ya know... because on Sundays he might like to spend some time at home with Mrs. Claus and the elves.) but his doors were open and he was ready for visitors.

After the initial greetings of "Ho, Ho, Ho!" and "Well, who do we have here?" Ana took her turn checking out Santa.  She didn't do much other than nod her head and look at him with shock and awe.  If he wasn't holding onto her hand to keep her close she would have immediately hid inside my coat.

When Santa asked Ana what she might like for Christmas she brought out her itty bitty small quiet voice.  So he pulled her a little closer to see if her could hear her.  No luck.  She did nod her head when I said "Didn't you tell me you wanted to ask Santa for a Strawberry Shortcake and all of her friends?" 

Thanks Santa!  You sure know how to help a Mom with a camera bring home a couple shots!  (Even if the shot has the smile of a 3 year old gritting her teeth and waiting to run away from Jolly Old St. Nick.)

Then it was Zoe's turn.  She was pretty serious about the business of answering Santa's questions about how good she's been.  If she's being a good student.  If she's listening to Mommy and Daddy and her teachers.  Then he asked her what she might like for Christmas.


Yep, Santa... that's the same look I gave Zoe when she told me she was going to ask you for a pogo stick.  Santa shot me a quick look (the one where he makes sure Mom is OK with him agreeing to said pogo stick... or if he should talk the kid into something else).  Then Santa and Zoe had a little talk about helmets and elbow pads and knee pads.  Santa is VERY safety conscious.

(I was SURE I took more photos of Zoe alone with Santa... but it seems this was the only one on the camera.  Strange.  Maybe Santa needs to bring me a new DSLR?)

After finishing up our talk with Santa we said our goodbyes and told him we would make sure there was a snack for him and the reindeer when he stopped by on Christmas Eve.  Zoe and Ana both took a turn signing their names to Santa's guest book.

We stopped to check out Santa's sleigh... and tried to take it for a little spin.

I think Zoe and Ana were hoping that they could drive the sleigh home.   I guess only Santa has that special magic... which is OK.  I don't know where we would park a sleigh anyway.  And how would he bring us a pogo stick and Strawberry Shortcake without his sleigh?

(Usually we would visit the mall to see Santa.  We would park in the crazy mall lot.  We would walk through the busy mall.  We would stand in the line.  We would pay for the picture of the big chair.  This year... not doing it.  Santa is kind enough to spend a little time in our town... the girls are thrilled... we have our pictures... and I don't have to set one tiny toe in the mall this year.  Merry Christmas to me!)

Special Person Day

On Thanksgiving my 4 year old niece, Nina, walked up to me and asked "Aunt Colleen? Will you go to school with me on Special Person Day?"

And then my heart exploded... the end.


Well, not really.  But it could have happened that way.  I mean... it's not every day that someone picks you as their person for Special Person Day.  It does make you feel... well... SPECIAL.

My sister-in-law, Andrea, gave me a whispered "You don't need to feel obligated.  I can take her myself... I tried to get her to pick me since it would be easier.  She just kept saying 'nope.  I want Aunt Colleen for my special person'".

But honestly all it took was looking into her big brown doe eyes... and having her say "Please Aunt Colleen???" and there weren't any good excuses NOT to be her special person. 

So yep.  That's me.  Nina's Special Person.

Nina even wore her "I love my Aunt" shirt.

Special Person Day lasted an entire 1 1/2 hours.  It may have been the most exhausting 1 1/2 hours of preschool I have ever experienced.  We fit more activities into that 1 1/2 hours than I normally do with Zoe and Ana in a whole week.

We were introduced at circle.

We played a game of Nativity Bingo.

We each decorated a large sugar cookie girl or boy.

We made a Nativity place-mat for Nina to use on Christmas.

We made cinnamon dough ornaments.  (Nina is like me, in that we used every little bit of dough.    EVERY LITTLE BIT OF DOUGH.  We made 6 ornaments when most of the kids made 3.)

We each finger painted a little wreath.

We had story time.

We had snack time and we ate the cookies we decorated and had a choice of hot cocoa or hot apple cider.

After that... I was ready to come home and take a little nap!

It's simply exhausting being someone's special person.  Exhausting... but worth every moment.

Grace in Small Things - 137

1.  Sleeping in a little bit because Zoe's school had a 2 hour delay today.

2.  Picking up Ana and hearing an enthusiastic "I love Miss Sara!  and I love Miss Marie!  and I just LOVE my friends!"

3.  A cup of tea on a chilly rainy day.

4.  Nap time.

5.  Listening to Zoe read.

Mommy's Punishment

I guess I'm in the Mommy version of "time out" right now.

When Ana gets upset or annoyed at me she punishes me by telling me she's going to play by herself in her room and that I'm not allowed to go with her.

That'll teach me not to mess with her!!!

(I wonder if it would be wrong to start annoying and upsetting her every afternoon.)

The Moment in Church That Makes Me Smile...

*I will take a moment now to apologize for the fact that this specific moment doesn't really have anything to do with the actual church service (although the Orthodox Christian service is beautiful and would almost be relaxing if it weren't for the 5 children in the pew with us).

Each time we go to church there is a certain moment that is my absolute very favorite.

When it is time for communion the children all line up first.  (In the Orthodox church children begin receiving communion at 6 weeks of age.)  Zoe and Ana go up with their cousins, Larisa, Alex and Nina.  Aunt Andrea joins them because she teaches Sunday School.  Once the children start taking their turns Nick and Grandpa join the line up... which leaves me alone in the pew.

The children take their turns.  Usually the older kids of our little group go first followed by Nina and Ana.  (Ana tends to be last because she likes to be with Andrea.)  Each child is given the little bit of communion wine from Father David and then continue on to pick up a piece of bread.

My favorite moment...

Zoe always grabs an extra piece of bread.  As she passes by our pew she hurries in and hands me the extra piece before rushing off to go downstairs for Sunday School.

A second later Ana picks out one piece of bread.  As she passes by our pew she hurries in and ask "You have more bread for me?"  Then she takes the piece of bread Zoe gave me and she hurries off to go downstairs for Sunday School.

Ana has no idea Zoe gave me the piece of bread.

Zoe has no idea Ana takes the piece of bread she gave me.

This little exchange tickles me every single time it happens.

Memories on the tree

We decorated our tree today.  I just love decorating the tree.  The house suddenly feels festive.

I think decorating gets more fun each year with the girls.  We love talking about our favorite ornaments... or where ornaments came from.

We have one from our Honeymoon in St Lucia.  We have one from Bermuda.  We have one from Barbados.  We have one from Quebec.  We have one from Halifax.  We some hand-painted wooden matryoshka dolls and churches from Russia.

We have some from Nick's childhood.  We have some from my childhood.  We have some that Zoe has made.  We have some that Ana has made.

We have some that were gifts from friends.  We have some that were gifts from family.

We have some that were given to us new.  We have some that were handed down from relatives.

Some of my favorites this year were ones I've had since college.  The first year my friend Vanessa and I had an apartment we got a small (table top small) tree.  I asked Aunt Pru and Uncle Jig if they could send me some ornaments to borrow and they sent me a whole box to keep.  Ornaments from their tree.  I've had them for almost 20 years now... but they were especially my favorites this year.

Each and every year our tree is more and more special to me.

Zoe's 1st Grade Portrait - 6 years